


When I'm Gone

by gracethescribbler



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Ahsoka Tano Needs a Hug, F/M, Family Feels, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Minor CT-7567 | Rex/Ahsoka Tano, Missing Scene, POV CT-7567 | Rex, Post-Episode: s05e20 The Wrong Jedi, Pre-Relationship, Prompt Fic, Rex says he's sorry, so i gave her one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:02:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24382510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gracethescribbler/pseuds/gracethescribbler
Summary: When Ahsoka leaves, she doesn't just leave Anakin behind - a short exploration of how Rex feels about her leaving and a goodbye before everything went to hell.
Relationships: CT-7567 | Rex/Ahsoka Tano
Comments: 4
Kudos: 166





	When I'm Gone

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ShalaGurl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShalaGurl/gifts).



> This was an anonymous prompt on Tumblr that got more involved as it went along, but the gist was a hope for other, unseen reactions to the Wrong Jedi arc, since we picked up so long later. Leave a comment if you enjoy, and come chat with me on Tumblr!
> 
> (I hope this is what you had in mind! ;)
> 
> UPDATE: 5-26-2020 Apparently I posted this without the Entire first half of it. Now it's posted correctly.

Ahsoka left without saying goodbye.

Rex, who had felt as if he was running blind for the past three days, couldn’t seem to process what General Skywalker now told him. Six hours ago he’d helped arrest her and handed her over to the Coruscant Guard. Shortly after that, the HoloNews was humming with a broadcast of Barriss Offee confessing to the attack on the Jedi Temple and blaming it on the Jedi themselves. And then, for two more hours, nothing. Not a word from anyone.

The battalion had been relieved, and had begun planning how they would celebrate when she got back - how they would  _ apologize, _ although none of them had called it that. None of them had wanted to hunt her down, but orders were orders, and if General Skywalker could talk to Commander Tano, they’d thought, they’d be able to sort everything out. Rex had been of the same view. He understood Ahsoka’s fear - she must have believed no one was on her side, and reacted accordingly. But they could have helped her if she’d let them. Still, he wanted to tell her, when she came back, that he was sorry he had to hunt her and sorry he had to let the GAR take her.

Now, with General Skywalker’s news, it seemed that he wouldn’t get the chance.

Rex managed to shake a heavy, cold exhaustion long enough to understand that Skywalker himself was barely holding it together, and so Rex reached over and pulled his General into a hug. Skywalker didn’t seem to know what to do, but then he took a shaky breath and hugged Rex back, tightly.

After trying his best to tell Skywalker that everything would work out alright, Rex finally escaped, got away from the barracks and away from Anakin and his brothers and everything. His chest ached, and he felt tears pricking at his eyes, but the hollow shock was beginning to turn into a burn of anger in his chest, although he didn’t know who he was angry  _ at. _ Partly, he wanted to be angry at Ahsoka - if she had only  _ talked  _ to them, if she’d let them help, if she’d done anything more than  _ run,  _ they could have fixed all this. And now she’d left when he- when  _ they  _ needed her, still. After everything, she shouldn’t have left.

But he knew that his anger rightly belonged more with the GAR, the Senate, Admiral Tarkin, even somewhat the Jedi Council. And, he supposed, with himself. There didn’t seem to be any right answers. But he wondered what would have happened if he and Wolffe and his  _ vode  _ had chosen not to arrest her, hadn’t turned her over to GAR custody to be punished.

(He knew what would have happened. Even if it had worked, if they had been proven right, they would have been arrested as insubordinate traitors and shipped back to Kamino for reconditioning, as Dogma had been when he shot General Krell. The GAR didn’t care if clones were right, only if they were compliant. And then the 501st would have had neither Ahsoka nor Rex. But he wanted to think they could have done something to help.)

Rex spent the whole rest of the afternoon running simulations, over and over and over again, simulations that hadn’t been a challenge in years but that pushed him enough to help him stop  _ thinking. _ But when he became too tired to continue, and went to the dining hall to eat supper, his thoughts and regrets came back with a vengeance. The fact that he hadn’t been able to say goodbye, that he’d never been able to explain that he believed her and trusted her, kept nagging at him. He couldn’t let her think otherwise.

Dinner became nursing a cup of caf and trying to pick at stale rations. Ordinarily, he would have tried to find Cody to talk to, but he didn’t want to now - there was anger at the Council, General Kenobi, and everyone else that was unwarranted but might get the better of him if he tried to talk to Cody. So he chose to stay alone, in the dining hall, until the lights dimmed for nightcycle and his brothers had all left and he was alone.

That was when his comm pinged, three times. He wanted to think it was Ahsoka - maybe she had gotten his contact after all. But more likely it was General Skywalker, or Cody.

When he answered it, it was none of them.

_ “Vod?”  _ The gruff voice belonged to Wolffe, uncharacteristically hesitant.  _ “I heard your Commander left.” _

“Yeah,” Rex answered, although he didn’t want to talk to anyone, least of all Wolffe. “She did. I don’t know where.”

There was quiet, for a moment, except a rustling noise on the other end of the comm, then Wolffe said,  _ “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry. I wanted to help her too.” _

“I know.” Rex swallowed. “Thanks,  _ vod.” _

_ “You really don’t know where she went? She didn’t tell you?” _

“No.” Rex couldn’t help a harsh laugh, not even sure what it was for. “Can’t blame her, but… I want to talk to her, still. Maybe I’ll try to find her.”

Wolffe was quiet again. Then he cleared his throat.  _ “I’d kind of- wanted to apologize to her. I don’t know her as well as you, but I always liked talking to her, and-”  _ Rex could imagine Wolffe shrugging as he trailed off. Ahsoka had always been close with General Plo, and so Wolffe had seen more of her than some, as a result.  _ “I just mean that if you wanted to try to find her… I’d help.” _

Rex looked at his commlink, blinking at him in the dimness of the dining hall, and swallowed. The idea seemed obvious when Wolffe said it, but he struggled for a moment with the idea of it. Tracking Ahsoka down when she might want to get away from them seemed like an invasion of privacy, and perhaps she’d neglected to say goodbye intentionally. But he owed her some kind of apology, or at the very least an explanation. For his own sake if nothing else.

“Actually,” he said, slowly, “yeah,  _ vod,  _ I wouldn’t mind that.”

Even with Wolffe’s help, finding Ahsoka wasn’t easy. She hadn’t been trying to cover her tracks, or they probably couldn’t have found her, but she just disappeared into the lower levels of Coruscant. It was a swoop bike purchase that gave her away, and Wolffe asked Rex if when he found her, he would tell her he was sorry. Rex promised he would, and as they neared the end of their leave time on Coruscant, he left the  _ Resolute  _ and went looking for her.

It was still more luck than skill that allowed him to find her, with only a vague idea of the levels and sector of Coruscant where she could be. But as he passed through the streets close to the ventilation shafts, he heard a commotion and then saw, on a landing platform across the way, a swoop bike crash and skid across the platform and nearly over into nothing. He could see much of the Togruta clinging to the handlebars and clumsily clambering up onto the platform, but judging by both the shit quality of the swoop bike and the fact that the crash hadn’t gone worse, Rex decided that it was possible the person was Ahsoka, and he set off in the direction of the landing platform.

It took him ten standard minutes to arrive, and he found that the landing platform was connected to a mechanic shop, which was convenient. Everything was relatively quiet, and Rex hesitated, then squared his shoulders and pushed through the door of the shop.

He could hear the familiar sounds of people doing mechanical work as he passed from a small entryway into a large hangar, where a ship and numerous workbenches and ongoing projects were being housed. He pulled his helmet off and tucked it under his arm, feeling suddenly uncomfortable. A brown-skinned girl, younger than Ahsoka, he thought (although he’d never gotten the hang of human ages), glanced up at him from one workbench and clumsily pushed up a pair of protective goggles. “Can I help you?” she asked, putting her hands on her hips and eyeing him warily.

Rex inclined his head. “I’m looking for a friend of mine. Ahsoka Tano? Is she here?”

The girl, seeming surprised, pointed across the hangar to another workbench, where the unfortunate swoop bike was upside down. As she pointed, sure enough, Ahsoka straightened up from behind the bench, and upon seeing him she stiffened and pulled off her own pair of goggles.

“Rex?” she called, voice uncertain.

“Hey, Ahsoka,” he answered, hesitant, then nodded at the other young woman and crossed quickly over to Ahsoka, tightening his grip on his bucket.

“Is everything okay?” Ahsoka came around the workbench and folded her arms uncertainly across her chest. “Is Anakin okay?”

Rex nodded. She was wearing some sort of blue jumpsuit, soft-looking, impractical for anything like she’d normally have been doing with the battalion. She looked tired. “Yeah, he’s fine,” he answered, his voice low so only she would hear. “I… just wanted to talk to you.”

Ahsoka looked at him, thoughtful, something shadowed in her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she said, quietly, after a moment. “I just… had to leave, Rex. I have to figure some things out.”

“General Skywalker told me,” Rex answered. “I understand. I just… Commander, I wanted to tell you that _I’m_ sorry.”

Ahsoka shifted again, looking down. “Why?” She was guarded. He couldn’t blame her.

“I didn’t think you were guilty,” Rex said, softly, keeping his eyes on her face. He knew it was crucial for her to understand that he was being honest, and meant what he said. “I believed you, and I’m sorry that I had to help arrest you. I couldn’t think of a way to do anything different.”

Ahsoka’s expression twisted a little, and when she looked up at him, he saw that her quiet consideration had broken to reveal more hurt, but also a hopefulness. “I know,” she said, but the way she said it made him believe that she hadn’t been sure at all. Then she stepped a little closer to him, almost into his space, and told him, quietly, “It’s not your fault.”

The fact that half-a-dozen arguments sprung into his head all at once didn’t make him proud of himself. But he thought there were more pressing concerns than his feelings of guilt, and he smiled slightly at her. Trust her to be trying to make _him_ feel better. “And you deserved to have more people defending you. The whole battalion’s been talking about- They all wanted to tell you they were sorry. So does Wolffe.”

Ahsoka’s expression fractured a little, and abruptly she lunged forward and wrapped her arms around his chest, pressing her forehead against his collarbone so he had to tilt his head back to avoid her montrals hitting him in the chin. She was holding on for dear life, and carefully Rex tucked his arms around her shoulders and hugged her back, a lump forming in his throat. He didn’t want to say goodbye. It had felt like there was so much more for them to do - they had always talked about their plans after the war, and somehow he’d never expected to contemplate any of those things without her around. He’d always known he might not see the end of the war, that out of the two of them he was more expendable, but he had never really thought he’d have to do without her.

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for, Rex,” Ahsoka said, quietly. “I’m confused about a lot of things, but…” She took a deep breath. “Besides Anakin, I’ll miss you the most.”

Rex’s heart squeezed painfully in his chest.

“All of you,” Ahsoka said, quietly, as if remembering herself, and pulled back, crossing her arms, a determinedly confident (if shaky) smile crossing her face.

Rex swallowed, smiled back at her, and nodded. Slowly, he realized that he felt so very different from her - she was strong and tired and dressed in tidy civilian clothes, walking away from everything she had ever known with a conviction he almost envied. Here in a mechanic’s shop on the lower levels of Coruscant, Rex was just a piece of a war that she was leaving behind.

There was something that ached a little, about it. So he couldn’t resist a question that was very nearly pathetic: “Is this goodbye, then?” and he thought he sounded more lost than he wanted to.

Ahsoka tilted her head, considering, a sad little smile curving her lips upward. “I don’t think so,” she said, softly. “Not forever, anyway. Don’t worry.”

“Why should I worry?” Rex teased, but the tightness in his chest lightened.

Ahsoka chuckled. “Well, in case you were going to, don’t.” She looked him up and down once, then straightened to attention and gave him a salute, humor and solemnity warring on her face. “Take care of yourself, Captain Rex. Don’t die till I get back.”

Raising his own hand in return, Rex smiled and took a deep breath. “Understood, Ahsoka Tano,” he told her, warm, and for some reason it felt like the air between them grew charged with a different meaning, a fondness and a promise. They’d see each other again, Rex knew. When things were different. When things were better.

As he turned to go, he found himself walking with more purpose, a certainty in his steps. They would be alright, the both of them. Even if everything felt wrong.


End file.
